Sunday, September 8, 2013

Killer Shayaris

Killer Shayaris

(Please weak hearted people stay away)

Using ur brain is strictly prohibited.

Traffic Jaam me attak gayi Bike,
Traffic Jaam me attak gayi Bike,
Chalo sab khele Counter-Strike.

Yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak ??
Yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak ??
Cameraman Prafful ke saath Deepak Chaurasia AAJ TAK.

Mehgai k iss daur me karna padta hai apne kharche par kaboo.. 
Mehgai k iss daur me karna padta hai apne kharche par kaboo..
Ek chutki Sindoor ki kimmat tum kya jaano Chunni Babu ?? 

Main hu Yaha Tu hai waha... 
Main hu Yaha Tu hai waha..
LIFEBUOY hai jaha Tandurusti hai waha...

Blood Donate karne se pehle humesha uska Group janchna,
Blood Donate karne se pehle humesha uska Group janchna,
BASANTI in kutto k samne kabhi mat nachna.

Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA,
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA,
Itni Shakti hume dena DATA.

Ab to Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana.
Ab to Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana.
A for Apple B for Banana.

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,
Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life JhingaLala ..!!

Romio ne Juliet se kaha Ek Sach,
Romio ne Juliet se kaha Ek Sach,
Asali masale sach sach MDH.....MDH ...!

1 Ladki ne kiya Ladke k Gaal pe Kiss,
1 Ladki ne kiya Ladke k Gaal pe Kiss,
Mutual Funds are subjected to Market Risks.

Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Purana,
Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Purana,
Didi Tera Devar Deewana.

Gym karna jaruri hai Acche Swasthya k liye, 
Gym karna jaruri hai Acche swasthya k liye,
Munni badnam hui Darling tere liye.

Paanch Rupey ka Ek Samosa Dus Rupey ka Do,
Paanch Rupey ka Ek Samosa Dus Rupey ka Do,
ACP ne kaha"DAYA darwaza tod do.

Darr se daro nahi, just fight it,
Darr se daro nahi, just fight it,
Hi I m Rajnikant, Mind it..!!

Naach Meri Bulbul naach, tujhe paisa milega,
Naach Meri Bulbul naach, tujhe paisa milega,
Hum CID se hai, koi apni jagah se nahi hilega..!

Khooni ne dikhaya Daya ko Chaaku,
Khooni ne dikhaya Daya ko Chaaku,
Arre kya hua Aanandi k Baapu??

FruitBox k uppar hain Bannana, 
FruitBox k uppar hain Bannana, 
Kuch bhi ho jaye Daya tum Goli mat chalana.

America par Laden ka saaya tha,
America par Laden ka saaya tha,
ACP bola iska matlab khooni Balcony se aaya tha..

Flop ho gayi Aamir ki Talaash,
Flop ho gayi Aamir ki Talaash,
Daya wo dekho ek or Laash !!!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Reality of Private Sector - Specially IT Sector

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the job hopper? (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it. well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the company loyal employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys  the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with #Mr. JH:
 
Question:- Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
Answer:- To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time.
 
Question:- So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
Answer:-  Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises.
 
Question:- Which number of job was that?
Answer:-  That was my third job.
 
Question:- So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
Answer:-  I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying ?employer loyalty?. But I was an idiot.
 
Question:- Why do you say so?
Answer:-   My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a ?permanent? job, so I need not worry about ?what will I do if I lose my job?. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002.
 
Question:- Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009?
Answer:-  Well, I had learnt my lessons of being ?company loyal? and not ?money earning and saving loyal?. But then you can save enough only when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving ? I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my stability.
 
Question:- So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?
Answer:-  Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are hiring. You tell me ? can I get a job now because of the slowdown? No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford the expected salaries.
 
Question:- What have you gained by doing such things?
Answer:-  That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike.
 
Question:- So you decided on your own hike?
Answer:-  Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a ?debt-free? life before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without waiting for the year to complete.
 
Question:- So are you debt-free now?
Answer:-  Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq.. feet) plus a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.
 
Question:- Who is complaining?
Answer:-  All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me ? why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.
 
Question:- What is your advice to professionals?
Answer:-  Like Narayan Murthy had said ? love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around.
 
Question:- What is your biggest pain point with companies?
Answer:-  When a company does well, its CEO will address the entire company saying, ?well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am with you. But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so well, the same CEO will say, It is MY company and to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go. So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.
 

Indian Railways - Some facts



भारतीय रेलवे न केवल दुनिया की चौथी सबसे बड़ी रेल सेवा है बल्कि यह दुनिया में सर्वाधिक लोगों को नौकरी प्रदान करने वाले उपक्रमों में से एक है।

आइए, कुछ तथ्यों से रू-ब-रू होते हैं :

  • भारतीय रेलवे 63,974 किलोमीटर लंबे रेल मार्ग के साथ दुनिया का चौथा सबसे विशाल रेल यातायात नेटवर्क संचालित करने वाला उपक्रम है।
  • यह अमेरिका, रूस, चीन तथा कनाडा के साथ दुनिया के पांच सबसे लंबी रेल नेटवर्क संचालित करने वाले उपक्रमों से एक है।
  • यह एक अरब टन प्रतिवर्ष माल ढोने वाले रेल यातायात क्लब में शामिल हो गया है।
  • भारतीय रेलवे प्रतिदिन 19,000 ट्रेनों का संचालन करता है।
  • इनमें से 12,000 ट्रेनें यात्री ट्रेनें हैं तथा 7,000 ट्रेनें माल ढोने के लिए हैं।
  • भारतीय रेलवे के अंतर्गत 7,083 स्टेशन हैं।
  • खड़गपुर स्थित 2,733 फीट लंबा रेल प्लेटफॉर्म दुनिया का सबसे लंबा रेल प्लेटफॉर्म है।
  • भारतीय रेलवे प्रतिदिन 26.5 लाख टन माल की ढुलाई करता है।
  • भारतीय रेलवे के अंतर्गत 230 लाख यात्री प्रतिदिन यात्रा करते हैं तथा 72 करोड़ यात्री प्रतिवर्ष भारतीय रेलवे का उपयोग करते हैं।
  • भारतीय रेलवे प्रक्रम के अंतर्गत 14 लाख कर्मचारी कार्यरत हैं।
  • इकोनॉमिस्ट पत्रिका के अनुसार, भारतीय रेलवे दुनिया की सातवीं सबसे बड़ी नियोक्ता उपक्रम है।
  • अमेरिकी रक्षाविभाग, चीनी सेना, वॉल मार्ट, चीनी राष्ट्रीय पेट्रोलियम, स्टेट ग्रिड ऑफचीन तथा ब्रिटिश स्वास्थ्य सेवा के बाद भारतीय रेलवे दुनिया की सबसे बड़ा नियोक्ता उपक्रम है।
  • भारतीय रेलवे का राजस्व आधार प्रतिवर्ष 1,06,000 करोड़ रुपये है।
  • भारतीय रेलवे पिछले 170 वर्षों से अपनी सेवा प्रदान कर रहा है।
  • भारतीय रेलवे के अंतर्गत पहली ट्रेन 16 अप्रैल 1853 को मुंबई से ठाणे के बीच चली थी।

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Very interesting and knowledgeable thinks to know

कुछ रोचक तथ्य :-
-----------------

 
  1. छीकते समय आँखे खुली रख पाना नामुनकिन है और छीकते समय दिल की गती एक मिली सेंकेड के लिए रुक जाती है.
  2. "Rhythm"(लय) vowel के बिना इंग्लिस का सबसे बड़ा शब्द है.
  3. TYPEWRITERसबसे लंम्बा शब्द है जो कि keyboard पर एक ही लाइन पर टाइप होता है.
  4. Uncopyrightableएकलौता 15 अक्षरो वाला शब्द है जिसमे कोई भी अक्षर दुबारा नही आता.
  5. Fortyएकलौती संख्या है जिसके अक्षर alphabetical order के अनुसार जबकि ‘one" के alphabetical order से उलट हैं.
  6. इंग्लिस के शब्द ‘thereinसे सात सार्थक शब्द निकाले जा सकते है - the,there,he,in,rein(लगाम) ,her,here,ere(शीघ्र) ,therein,और herein(इसमे).
  7. Albert Einstein के अनुसार हम रात को आकाश में लाखों तारे देखते है उस जगह नही होते ब्लकि कही और होते है. हमें तों उनके द्वारा छोडा गया कई लाख प्रकाश साल पहले का प्रकाश होता है.
  8. ज्यादातर विज्ञापनो में घड़ी पर 10 बज कर 10 मिनट का समय दिखाया जाया जाता है.
  9. पुरूषों की shirts के बटन Right side पर जबकि औरतो left side के पर होते हैं.
  10. चमगादड गुफा से निकलते समय हमेसा बाएँ हाथ मुडते है.
  11. लगभग 100 चमगादड़ मिल के एक साल में 25 गाय का खून पी जाते हैं.
  12. अगर एक आदमी सात दिनो के लिए कही बाहर जाता है तो वह पाँच दिन के कपड़े पैक करता है. मगर जब एक औरत सात दिन के टूर पर जाती है तो वह लगभग 21 सूट पैक करती है क्योकि वह यह नही जानती कि हर दिन उसे क्या पहनने को दिल करेगा.
  13. 00 की उम्र के पार पहुँचने वालो में से 5 में से 4 औरते होती हैं.
  14. जिन लोगो कि शरीर पर तिलों की संख्या ज्यादा होती है वह औसतन कम तिल वाले लोगो से ज्यादा जीते हैं.
  15. कुत्ते औरबिल्लीयाँ भी मनुष्य की तरह left या right-handed होते है.
  16. इतिहास में सबसे छोटा युद्ध 1896 में England और Zanzibar के बीच हुआ. जिसमें Zanzibar ने 38 मिन्ट बाद ही सरेंडर कर दिया था.
  17. फेसबुक पर 10 या उससेअधिक likes वाले 4 करोड़ 20 लाख पेज है।
  18. फेसबुक के 43 प्रतिशत users पुरुष है वहीं 57 फीसदी महिलाएं।
  19. यदि कोई व्यक्ति हर वेबसाइट को मात्र एक मिनट तक ब्राउज़ करे तो उसेसारी वेबसाइटें खंगालने में 31000 वर्ष लगेंगे. यदि कोई व्यक्ति सारे वेबपन्ने पढना चाहे तो उसे ऐसा करने में करीब 6,00,00,000 दशक लगेंगे.
  20. उँगलियाँ तोड़ने पर जो आवाज सुनाई देती है वह वास्तव में नाइट्रोजन बबल्स के बर्स्ट होने की आवाज होती है।
  21. पका हुआ तरबूज कच्चे तरबूज की अपेक्षा खोखला होता है।
  22. लगभग छः माह की उम्र होने तक रोने पर भी बच्चों की आँख से आँसू नहीं निकलते।
  23. ऋग्वेद में दस हजार पांच सौ नवासी मंत्र हैं।
  24. दरियाई घोड़ा एक इंसान से तेज भाग सकता है।
  25. 24 कैरेट का सोना शुद्ध सोना नहीं होता है, इसमें कॉपर की कुछ मात्रा शामिल होती है।
  26. इंसान के शरीर में कुल 206 हड्डियां होती हैं जिनमें से लगभग आधी हड्डियां हाथ-पैर में होती हैं।
  27. 300 साल पहले इसहाक न्यूटन ने गति के नियमों की खोज की।
  28. Almost अंग्रेजी का सबसे लंबा शब्द है जिसमें सारे अक्षर अंग्रेजी वर्णमाला के क्रम में हैं. 

बुढिया की शर्त

शहर के सबसे बडे बैंक में एक बार एक बुढिया आई ।

उसने मैनेजर से कहा - "मुझे इस बैंक मे कुछ रुपये जमा करने हैं" ।

मैनेजर ने पूछा - कितने हैं, वृद्धा बोली - होंगे कोई दस लाख।

मैनेजर बोला - वाह क्या बात है, आपके पास तो काफ़ी पैसा है, आप करती क्या हैं ?

वृद्धा बोली - कुछ खास नहीं, बस शर्तें लगाती हूँ ।

मैनेजर बोला - शर्त लगा-लगा कर आपने इतना सारा पैसा कमाया है ? कमाल है...

वृद्धा बोली - कमाल कुछ नहीं है बेटा, मैं अभी एक लाख रुपये की शर्त लगा सकती हूँ कि तुमने अपने सिर पर विग लगा रखा है ।

मैनेजर हँसते हुए बोला - नहीं माताजी मैं तो अभी जवान हूँ, और विग नहीं लगाता । तो शर्त क्यों नहीं लगाते ?

वृद्धा बोली । मैनेजर ने सोचा यह पागल बुढिया खामख्वाह ही एक लाख रुपये गँवाने पर तुली है,

तो क्यों न मैं इसका फ़ायदा उठाऊँ... मुझे तो मालूम ही है कि मैं विग नहीं लगाता । मैनेजर एक लाख की शर्त लगाने को तैयार हो गया ।

वृद्धा बोली - चूँकि मामला एक लाख रुपये का है इसलिये मैं कल सुबह ठीक दस बजे अपने वकील के साथ आऊँगी और उसी के सामने शर्त का फ़ैसला होगा ।

मैनेजर ने कहा - ठीक है बात पक्की... मैनेजर को रात भर नींद नहीं आई.. वह एक लाख रुपये और बुढिया के बारे में सोचता रहा । अगली सुबह ठीक दस बजे वह बुढिया अपने वकील के साथ मैनेजर के केबिन में पहुँची और कहा, क्या आप तैयार हैं ?

मैनेजर ने कहा - बिलकुल, क्यों नहीं ?

वृद्धा बोली- लेकिन चूँकि वकील साहब भी यहाँ मौजूद हैं और बात एक लाख की है अतः मैं तसल्ली करना चाहती हूँ कि सचमुच आप विग नहीं लगाते, इसलिये मैं अपने हाथों से आपके बाल नोचकर देखूँगी। मैनेजर ने पल भर सोचा और हाँ कर दी, आखिर मामला एक लाख का था।

वृद्धा मैनेजर के नजदीक आई और धीर-धीरे आराम से मैनेजर के बाल

नोचने लगी। उसी वक्त अचानक पता नहीं क्या हुआ, वकील साहब अपना माथा दीवार पर ठोंकने लगे ।

मैनेजर ने कहा - अरे.. अरे.. वकील साहब को क्या हुआ ?
वृद्धा बोली - कुछ नहीं, इन्हें सदमा लगा है, मैंने इनसे पाँच लाख रुपये की शर्त लगाई थी कि आज सुबह दस बजे मैं शहर से सबसे बडे बैंक के मैनेजर के बाल दोस्ताना माहौल में नोचकर दिखाऊँगी। इसलिये बूढों को कभी कम ना समझें.....`

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Pieces of Garbage


A little boy was in a taxi eating a chocolate, then he took another one and then another.
A man next to him said "Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth"
The boy replied, "my grandfather lived for 132 years"
The man asked " was it because of eating chocolate ?"
The boy replied, "No, he was always minding his own business"
 
 

A short walk is so difficult when no one walks with you
but a long journey is just like a few steps when a street dog is running behind you.

 
Difference between Mother's and Girlfriends Tears
 
What's the difference between Mother's and Girlfriends Tears ??
A Classic answer Girlfriend's Tears Effect our Pocket.
Mother Tears effect our Heart.. :(
 
 
Girls just wait for...
Wait for a guy who calls u Beautiful instead of hot.

Will stay awake just to watch you sleep...

Wait for the Boy who kisses your forehead not on your lips.

The one who hold your hands not you waste in front of his friends.

The one who constantly reminds you how lucky he is too have you and the one who turns to his mates and says..!!!
 "That's My Princess"

Conversation between God and a Man

Awesome Conversation between God and a Man. Read it and don’t forget to share it with your friends.
 
Man: God, can I ask you a question?
God: Sure
 
Man: Promise you won’t get mad …
 
God: I promise
 
Man: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What does you mean?
 
Man: Well, I woke up late
 
God: Yes
 
Man: My car took forever to start
 
God: Okay
 
Man: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
 
God: Huummm
 
Man: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
 
God: All right
 
Man: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn’t work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
 
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
 
Man (humbled): OH
 
GOD: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Man: (ashamed)
 
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn’t want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.
 
Man (embarrassed): Okay
 
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
 
Man (softly): I see God
 
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.
 
Man: I’m Sorry God
 
God: Don’t be sorry, just learn to Trust Me…. in All things, the Good & the bad.
 
Man: I will trust you.
 
God: And don’t doubt that my plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
 
Man: I won’t God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
 
God: You’re welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children.

Love Letter Man Vs Woman

Expressions of Man & Women while reading love letter...

 

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Pics of the Day

What did you thinks? Isn't it?
 
 Unusual friendship between a Monkey and Tiger Cubs!
Don't Ever Mistake..
















My Reaction at the time of result...
 

Famous Quotes on Sachin Tendulkar - The God of Cricket

Famous Quotes on Sachin Tendulkar.....!!!
  1. "I want my son to become Sachin Tendulkar." -Brian Lara(West Indies)
  2. "We did not lose 2 a team called India , we lost 2 a man called Sachin" - Mark Taylor(Australia)
  3. "Nothing bad can happen 2 us if we were on a plane in India wit Sachin Tendulkar on it.''-Hashim Amla(South Africa)
  4. "He can play that leg glance with a walking stick also." - Waqar Younis(Pakistan)
  5. "There are 2 kind of batsman in the world. 1. Sachin Tendulkar and 2. all the others .-Andy Flower(Zimbabwe)
  6. "I have seen God. He bats at no.4 for India in tests.-Matthew Hayden(Australia)
  7. "I see myself when i see Sachin batting".-Don Bradman (Australia)
  8. "Do your crime when Sachin is batting, bcos even God is busy watching his batting. -Australian Fan  and the best one....
  9. "I don't know about cricket but still I watch cricket to see Sachin play..Not b'coz I love his play its b'coz I want to know the reason why my country's production goes down by
     5 percent when he's batting" - Barack Obama

Fair share of THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Life has its fair share of THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY...
EXAMPLES:-
  1.  Good: Your wife isn't talking to you.
     Bad: She wants divorce.
     Ugly: She is a lawyer!.
  2.  Good: Your son is finally maturing.
     Bad: He is involved with the woman next door.
     Ugly: So are you!.
  3.  Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
     Bad: You find porn mms in his cell.
     Ugly: You are in it!. :)
  4.  Good: Your wife and you agree to have no more kids.
     Bad: She can't find her birth control pills.
     Ugly: Your 15 year old daughter has it!.
  5.  Good: You start telling your children about sex as they are becoming mature.
     Bad: They keep interrupting.
     Ugly: With corrections!